Breaking the Chain!

I volunteered at camp last week.  There was this beautiful child.  She talked about her mother and grandmother.  She told me about her dogs and beauty pageants.  She made friends and loved singing.  As she left, my heart was broken.  Below is why.

“You are just like your mother.”

“You can’t do anything right.”

“You always do everything wrong.”

“You will never win doing it that way.”

“You are no good.”

“You are bad luck.”

      Words break the heart and kill the spirit.  Are these words that a child should hear?  Words from father to son to son to son or words from mother to daughter to daughter to daughter kill the spirit of each generation.  Let me tell you about a beautiful girl from camp last week.

    She is beautiful, smart, independent, and fun.  Last week at camp, she did everything like her mother and grandmother told her.  She brushed her teeth, used special sponge to clean her face, showered after swimming, kept her things in place and bed neat, made friends, and listened to lessons and instruction.   Other girls did not shower after swimming, but she did because her mother and grandmother told her to always shower after swimming.  It was not a rinse, but she washed her hair, used the special sponge for her face, and creamed herself, because this is what her mother told her she must do.  We all enjoyed her at camp.

    All week she talked about her grandparents picking her up on Thursday night.  Since she was expecting to be picked up around 8:30 PM, she packed and did a great job packing.  She rolled her sleeping bag, carefully packed clean clothes separately from dirty clothes, and had everything ready to go.  The night went by and it was time for everyone to go to bed.  She was sure she would be picked up soon.  It was 11 PM.  Then, we asked the director and he did not know.  There were no calls and her heart was broken.  She cried.  We comforted.

    Next morning after breakfast, her grandmother did come.  What did I hear?

“You did not pack right.”

“You are just like your mother, can’t do anything right.”

“Why isn’t your sleeping bag rolled up right?”

      I watched this precious child retreat into silence.   I saw the hurt on her face.  She is rushed into a truck and they are rushed away.  Did I tell you she came to camp with an ear infection?  I ask myself, “Why?”

     Children are gifts from God for us to nurture, love, and instruct.  I did not see much nurturing.  Are these insults to a child from generations before?   Is this child being beat down and being instructed to teach others as she is being treated?  Is this something that has been in this family for years?  Or, is this something that comes from the abuser living an unhappy and stressful life?  I don’t know.   I know that this child works to please and is beat down with insults.  Beautiful and happy one moment and quiet and hurt the next is what I saw.

    If you see yourself in this story, break the chain.  Put an end to the verbal abuse and change your words to encouragement and love.  Please save the child and break the chain.