Sin - Deceived Me
My Granny was a very judging person. I saw this and promised myself that I will never be judgmental. However, "sin, taking occasion by the commandment, deceived me, and by it slew me." Paul's words from Romans 7:11 speaks to my heart, because I let sin deceive me and corrupt my mind. This sin is judging others. With the Spirit of God and God's loving grace and forgiveness, this sin will no longer deceive me and slay my spirit.
As a teenager, I prayed, "Don't let me judge as Granny judges people." Even as I grew in the Lord, this continued to be my prayer. Then, I was hurt. Anyone who obeys God's call to serve knows how the devil works to destroy the ministry God lays before us. This hurt and pain came from fellow church members, and I stayed focused on my ministry with my Sunday School Class, teaching Epworth League, leading activities for the youth, and supporting missions through the Woman's Missionary Society. What broke me was when church members set out to destroy a good pastor. Why? I was so busy with my ministry that I did not notice that the devil was at work. When it came to my attention, it broke my heart, and I was insulted. Insulted? Yes. Someone told me they were having prayer meetings about removing the pastor with the leaders in the church. Wait a minute! I was not invited to these prayer meetings? I was a teacher, children's ministry and youth leader, leader in the WMS, and did not miss any meetings. These people at the prayer meetings didn't do any of these things and they called themselves leaders. Most of them did not go to Prayer Meeting on Wednesday nights. I was hurt by being left out, but I knew they left me out because I supported the pastor who was reaching out to save the lost and bringing in new members. Then, I had a tumor and doctors were telling me that it was possibly cancer. My thoughts, I am not asking those hypocrites to pray for me. I became the judge.
I didn't ask them to pray for me. I didn't tell them anything. I had been having devotions at work with a special man of God. I went to John and he was my prayer warrior as I went through two surgeries. I didn't have cancer. I recovered and God had plans for me. My husband was transferred to Mississippi, and God worked in our lives and we both grew together in the Lord. My husband needed this move, and God lead us to a wonderful congregation, Cedar Grove Baptist Church. I didn't think I would ever return to the church full of hypocrites. You see, I was still judging. At the same time, I was praying for that church. Mainly, I prayed because I feared they would destroy my son. Years later, they asked my son to be youth pastor, and I feared they would hurt and destroy him. God answered my prayers and placed a family in his life who supported and prayed over him as I was praying miles away. Then, circumstances brought us back to that church.
Yes, I still did not trust them and that sin called "the judge" was still in my heart. As soon as I arrived, they asked me to take over children's church, and I knew that this is where God wanted me. At the same time, I was letting sin deceive me. I couldn't let myself trust many of them. You know, sin grows like a weed when you keep feeding it. I knew what I was doing and God burdened my heart to confess. Then, I needed prayer. With a possible illness, I was full of fear. I let it dwell in me and I didn't tell anyone what the doctor told me. I needed prayer, but I didn't ask. No, I didn't want those hypocrites praying for me. I still didn't trust them.
God had been working on me over these five weeks since my doctor called me. Then, this past weekend, I went to a retreat. As I sat their and listened, I heard that small voice saying, "Rose, you are the hypocrite. You are judging others just like your Granny. Look at them and how God is using them. They are not perfect and a few might be filled with pride, but look at you, the judge. You are wrong." I cried. I cried like a baby. Right there, I asked God to forgive me. I had to be broken before I realized my wrong. I was broken. Then, that voice told me, "Get on that stage and ask them to pray for your physical healing."
I tried to find every excuse or way around to stay off that stage and obey. This was my next test, obedience. It was hard. I did get on that stage and asked for prayer. Oh!! The peace I now have. Sin deceived me but through God's grace, I'm forgiven. I'm still waiting for test results but I'm not afraid because I have my church family praying for me. I have no fear because I'm confident that whatever comes, God will carry me through it.
"For we have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; by we have received the Spirit of adoption, so we can cry, Abba Father." Romans 8:15
As a teenager, I prayed, "Don't let me judge as Granny judges people." Even as I grew in the Lord, this continued to be my prayer. Then, I was hurt. Anyone who obeys God's call to serve knows how the devil works to destroy the ministry God lays before us. This hurt and pain came from fellow church members, and I stayed focused on my ministry with my Sunday School Class, teaching Epworth League, leading activities for the youth, and supporting missions through the Woman's Missionary Society. What broke me was when church members set out to destroy a good pastor. Why? I was so busy with my ministry that I did not notice that the devil was at work. When it came to my attention, it broke my heart, and I was insulted. Insulted? Yes. Someone told me they were having prayer meetings about removing the pastor with the leaders in the church. Wait a minute! I was not invited to these prayer meetings? I was a teacher, children's ministry and youth leader, leader in the WMS, and did not miss any meetings. These people at the prayer meetings didn't do any of these things and they called themselves leaders. Most of them did not go to Prayer Meeting on Wednesday nights. I was hurt by being left out, but I knew they left me out because I supported the pastor who was reaching out to save the lost and bringing in new members. Then, I had a tumor and doctors were telling me that it was possibly cancer. My thoughts, I am not asking those hypocrites to pray for me. I became the judge.
I didn't ask them to pray for me. I didn't tell them anything. I had been having devotions at work with a special man of God. I went to John and he was my prayer warrior as I went through two surgeries. I didn't have cancer. I recovered and God had plans for me. My husband was transferred to Mississippi, and God worked in our lives and we both grew together in the Lord. My husband needed this move, and God lead us to a wonderful congregation, Cedar Grove Baptist Church. I didn't think I would ever return to the church full of hypocrites. You see, I was still judging. At the same time, I was praying for that church. Mainly, I prayed because I feared they would destroy my son. Years later, they asked my son to be youth pastor, and I feared they would hurt and destroy him. God answered my prayers and placed a family in his life who supported and prayed over him as I was praying miles away. Then, circumstances brought us back to that church.
Yes, I still did not trust them and that sin called "the judge" was still in my heart. As soon as I arrived, they asked me to take over children's church, and I knew that this is where God wanted me. At the same time, I was letting sin deceive me. I couldn't let myself trust many of them. You know, sin grows like a weed when you keep feeding it. I knew what I was doing and God burdened my heart to confess. Then, I needed prayer. With a possible illness, I was full of fear. I let it dwell in me and I didn't tell anyone what the doctor told me. I needed prayer, but I didn't ask. No, I didn't want those hypocrites praying for me. I still didn't trust them.
God had been working on me over these five weeks since my doctor called me. Then, this past weekend, I went to a retreat. As I sat their and listened, I heard that small voice saying, "Rose, you are the hypocrite. You are judging others just like your Granny. Look at them and how God is using them. They are not perfect and a few might be filled with pride, but look at you, the judge. You are wrong." I cried. I cried like a baby. Right there, I asked God to forgive me. I had to be broken before I realized my wrong. I was broken. Then, that voice told me, "Get on that stage and ask them to pray for your physical healing."
I tried to find every excuse or way around to stay off that stage and obey. This was my next test, obedience. It was hard. I did get on that stage and asked for prayer. Oh!! The peace I now have. Sin deceived me but through God's grace, I'm forgiven. I'm still waiting for test results but I'm not afraid because I have my church family praying for me. I have no fear because I'm confident that whatever comes, God will carry me through it.
"For we have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; by we have received the Spirit of adoption, so we can cry, Abba Father." Romans 8:15
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