Marriage - Love & Respect
Recently, I've seen some post on Facebook that I found not appropriate. In fact, I was very disappointed in the women who posted them. These were copied statements about husbands. The statement is lengthy, but the whole point of the post is a woman saying, "Please feel sorry for me, because my husband doesn't do anything around the house and doesn't appreciate anything I do." Really!! Don't you think! You are letting the world know that you don't have a good relationship with your husband. Where is your respect and love for your husband?
Reading these lengthy posts made me look back on my own marriage. Kevin and I started our marriage with love and respect. We both worked, so we agreed early in our marriage to support each other and to share household work. He was the best dishwasher ever. I can thank his mother for the summer he had to do dishes because of his grades. I enjoyed having him in my kitchen. He was the best potato peeler. After he died, planning Sunday meals with family became hard for me, because I didn't have him in the kitchen with me. I still can't peel potatoes. Then, there were times I felt like I had to build him up. We all make bad decisions. We shared responsibility for mistakes and successes. Early in our marriage, Kevin made a poor decision. I don't remember what it was, but I remember there was a poor decision because his mother was very critical. It was unbearable, so I announced, "I made that decision." She stopped complaining. You see, I loved Kevin and did not want anyone to put him down. By the way, on the way home, he thanked me.
Then, we had children. I'm the oldest of six children, so I know how those precious little angels work on parents. Knowing how children will try to manipulate, we agreed before we had children to not say, "Go ask..." Or, when a child will ask one parent and did not get the answer they wanted, they run to the other parent. We both agreed to check with the other. If Kevin gave permission for something I did not agree, we would discuss it in private, not around the children. Well, there was this thing with meals. We did not agree but each of us learned how to work around the problem. I still know his way was wrong. I don't believe in forcing a child to eat something they don't like. They should try it, but not forced to eat extra servings because they refused to eat first serving. As a child, mealtime was not just to eat but a time of good conversation. We talked about what we did at school or after school. We joked and laughed a lot. This is what I wanted at my family table, and as the children grew, I think we did. Even in this one big disagreement about mealtime, we worked it out with respect for each other.
Respect and love goes a long way. Love does not grow bitterness. Love does not create jealousy. Love does not lead to a pity party. Love is admiration. Love is deep respect. Love is submitting. Love is to lift up and honor.
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.." Colossians 3:18,19
I never liked that word submit. I've always been very independent. However, I believe the combination of these two verses is saying to respect, honor, and love each other. When a wife or husband posts something negative on social media about the other, they are not displaying submission and love to the world. They are saying to the world, "My marriage is not any good."
In my mind, it isn't about what the other one does, but it is about what I can do to make this life better, This takes love with a lot of respect.
Reading these lengthy posts made me look back on my own marriage. Kevin and I started our marriage with love and respect. We both worked, so we agreed early in our marriage to support each other and to share household work. He was the best dishwasher ever. I can thank his mother for the summer he had to do dishes because of his grades. I enjoyed having him in my kitchen. He was the best potato peeler. After he died, planning Sunday meals with family became hard for me, because I didn't have him in the kitchen with me. I still can't peel potatoes. Then, there were times I felt like I had to build him up. We all make bad decisions. We shared responsibility for mistakes and successes. Early in our marriage, Kevin made a poor decision. I don't remember what it was, but I remember there was a poor decision because his mother was very critical. It was unbearable, so I announced, "I made that decision." She stopped complaining. You see, I loved Kevin and did not want anyone to put him down. By the way, on the way home, he thanked me.
Then, we had children. I'm the oldest of six children, so I know how those precious little angels work on parents. Knowing how children will try to manipulate, we agreed before we had children to not say, "Go ask..." Or, when a child will ask one parent and did not get the answer they wanted, they run to the other parent. We both agreed to check with the other. If Kevin gave permission for something I did not agree, we would discuss it in private, not around the children. Well, there was this thing with meals. We did not agree but each of us learned how to work around the problem. I still know his way was wrong. I don't believe in forcing a child to eat something they don't like. They should try it, but not forced to eat extra servings because they refused to eat first serving. As a child, mealtime was not just to eat but a time of good conversation. We talked about what we did at school or after school. We joked and laughed a lot. This is what I wanted at my family table, and as the children grew, I think we did. Even in this one big disagreement about mealtime, we worked it out with respect for each other.
Respect and love goes a long way. Love does not grow bitterness. Love does not create jealousy. Love does not lead to a pity party. Love is admiration. Love is deep respect. Love is submitting. Love is to lift up and honor.
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.." Colossians 3:18,19
I never liked that word submit. I've always been very independent. However, I believe the combination of these two verses is saying to respect, honor, and love each other. When a wife or husband posts something negative on social media about the other, they are not displaying submission and love to the world. They are saying to the world, "My marriage is not any good."
In my mind, it isn't about what the other one does, but it is about what I can do to make this life better, This takes love with a lot of respect.
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